Strange Toys from a Foreign Land #1

1

Toys that speak with a devil’s tongue

#1: RAPIDLY KING KONG COLNMN

 

What we have here is a presumably titanic man and his trusty pet fire engine. The man is wearing the costume of the Japanese Dairanger, a series that served as inspiration for the American dubbing nightmare that is Power Rangers. Perhaps the people in China figured that it looked enough like a fireman’s outfit to qualify him for inclusion. He has a helmet, after all.

His ride-on fire truck is in fact a robot in disguise (we see a lot of those around here). Us western infidels may recognise it as Hot Spot, heroic leader of the Autobot combining team, the Protectobots. You can see the owner of this item has placed the Protectobots’ combined form next to the package, possibly to provide a sense of scale; it seems that the toy has been put through the patented Chinese Enlarging Ray that is used for making about 90% of all bootlegs.

Of course, no spandex-clad, fire engine-riding superhero can quell a mighty blaze without his fire extinguisher. Curiously, without any hoses or pumps on the vehicle, it appears that this handheld device is our hero’s only method of actually fighting fires.

And finally, let’s look at the packaging. It has some Japanese text, for some reason, and a lot of Chinese I can’t understand. It also has a picture of a transforming robot that has nothing to do with the product on the card. But I think we’re all laughing at that name.

Rapidly. King Kong. Colnmn.

Some days, I’m glad we live in such a crazy world.

Strangeness Rating: 3/5 – It’s a bizarre product, and it makes me smile, but it is by no means the weirdest knock-off out there. Subtract one point if you don’t find the name as incongruously funny as I do.

“A helmet, after all”

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One comment on “Strange Toys from a Foreign Land #1

  1. Brother LIVID says:

    I think “Colnmn” is short for “Colonel Man”. Because we all know Colonel is a rank in Power Ranger Firefighters.

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