Dino Head Grabber Thing
Magazine cover mount (2013)
“He did it, the crazy son of a bitch, he did it!”
See, I told you that I would eventually review a modern toy, and what a toy it is. Although I’m cheating a bit: while manufactured in space-year 2013, the animal-head-on-a-stick has been around since the dawn of time, and touched almost every child in some way. Quite literally, I suppose; earlobes, noses, fingers… all children have felt the vice-grip of those plastic jaws at some point.
Toys that should be thrown in the dungeon!
#2: Food Fighters
What!? WHAT!? Is this a joke!? Give me a second, I will consult with The Sorceress, and see if her powers of divination can confirm that these… these… things were actually real. Twenty Eterno-dollars says they weren’t, and this is all a set-up.
Pretty Little Things: Action Figures That Make Our Tummies Go Funny.
Oh, my goodness.
I’ll tell you a little secret folks; I had the biggest crush on Rogue when I was younger. Heck, I wanted to be Rogue. I would have traded my entire Pog collection and my external genitalia for a day in those high-heels. She’s beautiful, powerful, and has a really cool accent, sugah!
Fortunately, such feelings pass, and by the time I was twenty-four, I had mostly gotten over my crush/gender-switch fantasy and moved on with my life. Mostly.
Hasbro’s My Little Pony, currently in its fourth or fifth iteration, rocketed out of the gate in 2010 with a fresh new look and a slick cartoon show – picking up an army of dedicated fans along the way. In a turn of events predicted by absolutely no-one, the new generation of pastel-coloured gee-gees had an amazing cross-market appeal, with everyone from young girls to twenty-something males clamouring for new toys.
So, in a bid to “express the My Little Pony brand in exciting new ways for fans” (or marketing guff to that effect) these fillies have suddenly found themselves humanised, dressed up and plopped in a high school setting. Why? It may have something to do with the fact rival toy company Mattel raked in a literal shedload of cash from its Monster High line of kooky fashion dolls last year, and it’s clear that Hasbro’s Equestria Girls have those lovely lovecraftian ladies firmly in their sights.
Question is, are Hasbro on to another winner?