Toys that should be thrown in the dungeon!
#2: Food Fighters
What!? WHAT!? Is this a joke!? Give me a second, I will consult with The Sorceress, and see if her powers of divination can confirm that these… these… things were actually real. Twenty Eterno-dollars says they weren’t, and this is all a set-up.
Well, after consulting with the feathered femme fatale, and getting a proper ass-kicking from He-Man, I can confirm that yes, these toys really do exist. They were sold by Mattel (the shame!) in 1988 and 1989. And to think, people called some of our Masters of the Universe lame! Hahaha!! Even Scare Glow and Snout-Spout are pissing themselves, looking at these preposterous playthings.
And I use “plaything” in the loosest sense of the word. How would you ever play with these? What do they do? If that image is anything to go by, the big chicken drumstick is mugging off the French fries. Poor fellow, he’s quaking with fear. Never mind re-creating epic battles of good versus evil, kids, you can simulate street crime with fast food!
Delizioso! Er… I mean… Hail Skeletor!