Toy Review: Dinosaur Head on a Stick

Dino Head Grabber Thing

Magazine cover mount (2013)

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“He did it, the crazy son of a bitch, he did it!”

See, I told you that I would eventually review a modern toy, and what a toy it is. Although I’m cheating a bit: while manufactured in space-year 2013, the animal-head-on-a-stick has been around since the dawn of time, and touched almost every child in some way. Quite literally, I suppose; earlobes, noses, fingers… all children have felt the vice-grip of those plastic jaws at some point.

For those not familiar with the toy (welcome to Earth, by the way) or its function, I’ll explain in a hideously patronising fashion: A facsimile animal head, often a species which is known for its ability to bite, is placed at the top of a long pole. The lower jaw is hinged and attached via a string to a lever at the opposite end of said pole. The lever is fashioned into a handle to allow primitive human hands to grip it. When squeezed, the jaws of the animal snap shut, the pressure of the bite directly corresponding in an exponential fashion to the pressure applied from the initial gripping action.

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“Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend”

You can use it to manipulate small objects, cause bodily harm to fellow humans or animals, or use it as a vessel to convey spoken commands or perhaps a small and impromptu pantomime.

This example is quite small… maybe a third of the size of the type you would buy in a toy shop on holiday. Of course, this is because it was given away free with a magazine. I don’t recall the magazine’s title, but for comedy effect, we’ll call it “Animal-head-on-a-stick Monthly”. Subscribe today.

That is all.

Awesomeness Rating: 2/5 – It’s fun, but not that fun. Although truth be told, I have spent far, far too long playing with it. I choose to believe this reveals something about human nature,  or shows the intrinsic value of such simple toys. Or maybe I’m just loco in the coco.

rating strip dino

“Touched almost every child”

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