To some, he’s the centre of their lives; their religion. To others, he was simply a man whose persona history has embellished. He came to Earth, to teach us the ways of love and peace – we can all quote a parable or two about turning the other cheek or showing kindness to others.
He had a brotherhood of disciples, but I bet you can’t name them all. He’s probably one of the most recognised men in the whole world, even people in far away lands would know his face or his name. Some picture him as a white man, although historical accuracy would dictate that his skin was much darker.
He eventually left us and ascended to heaven, although of course people claim to see him all the time. Some say he visits them personally, others just see his face in a piece of toast or whatever.
When it’s late at night and you’re staring up at the ceiling, does your mind wander to thoughts of a life of adventure? Storming the castle, fighting impossible odds, to save the maiden fair?
Who doesn’t want to be a hero, to have an alter-ego that would leave Bonnie Tyler speechless? It’s a very attractive idea, that you can be Johnny Punchclock one moment, and Muscles McSixpack the next. You can live an ordinary life, hiding in plain sight, until such time that you are needed. Your duty done – the bad guys smashed up and the damsel in distress suitably snogged – you slink back into the shadows and proudly smirk at the headlines the next day.
#6: Sequel Shenanigans
There’s an interesting phenomenon that exists entirely within the world of video games. I call it “The Super Streets of Sonic Fighter II Effect”. I’ll break it down:
- New game is introduced. It’s novel and exciting and blows people’s minds.
- Shortly afterwards, a sequel to this game is released.
- It proves to be better than the original in every single way.
- There’s no going back to the first one, and you feel a fool for ever having loved it.
The SSSFII effect is distinct from other observable phenomenon of this kind as the technology used to make video games often takes huge quantum leaps in a short space of time. This was especially true in the eighties and nineties. When you bought your computer or games console, you could be sure it was obsolete by the time you got it home and opened the box. Things just kept changing and getting better – we seem to have reached something of a plateau these days, but back then you could be sure that the sequel to your favourite game would do something you’d never seen before.
Join me as I take a look at games of yore, and try and parrot back our thoughts as we played for the first, second or last time!
#5: Virtual Reality II Turbo
Games are great, aren’t they? As Sega’s marketing husks once told us, games teach us to think on our feet and take our chances. So, to that end, I once again jump into and back out of the virtual world, ready to face the challenges of real life with the things I have learned!
Let’s put gaming tactics to the test!
This may come as no surprise to those who know me, but I’m what most would call a “sensitive” guy. Make no mistake, I’m not emotionally fragile or anything. Quite the opposite; when the mood takes me, and I can call on the Power of Grayskull, I can be quite fierce.
But I am definitely sensitive or emotional or whatever. The kind who cries at movies. I totally lost it the other day watching Short Circuit 2. Yeah, the sequel.
I went to pieces…! That little goggle-eyed Johnny Five is such an endearing character, so optimistic and full of life, that when the baddies smash him up at the end of the film you can’t help but feel for him. It’s unbearable – like watching Hulk Hogan choke-slam baby ducks. YOU JUST CAN’T DO IT.
“I’M COMING BACK FOR THE EGGS!”