It’s Hip To Be Square

By TMW newcomer Sam Taylor.

Oh hello there! I’m new here!

For my first review I thought I would start a bit easy as my writing and reviewing is a little rusty, so please bear with me as I spray it up with some WD40. In fact it has been about six years since I wrote a review for anything. So, I thought I would follow in the great Adam’s footsteps and write about a childhood TV show that sits closely to my metallic heart.

Now I am not very old, but I was raised watching old videos of Muffin the Mule, Camberwick Green and whatever else was on Watch With Mother. I remember there being a lot of Dr Who involved in my bedtime watches as well, however that is a different story for a different day.

To the people of Devon, this man is indistinguishable from the Third Doctor

To the people of Devon, this man is indistinguishable from the Third Doctor

This series is a lot younger than that. I am going to tell you about Cubix, a multicoloured robot that shows you just what you can do with a Rubix cube if you combine it with a Gundam kit. (If you listen closely and point your ears in the direction of the westcountry, you’ll hear Adam slapping his forehead as he only now realises the similarity between Cubix and Rubix. Only took fourteen years!)

I think the one on the far right is supposed to be a toilet. His eyes beg for death.

I think the one on the far right is supposed to be a toilet. His eyes beg for death.

Cubix was my comfort show after I had finished watching Transformers Energon and had yet to learn about Transformers Cybertron, the catchy theme tune used to tell my siblings it was time to leave the room. It used to air just after I’d gotten home from school, so I was mostly able to watch it, unless of course my sister demanded the TV so she could watch her mundane drivel.

The main reason I watched it was obviously for the robots, but also because the bad guy (known only as the evil Dr. K) shares the same voice as Meowth from the original Pokemon series, so it was funny to me seeing Meowth actually achieving something instead of blasting off at the end of every episode without making progress. Not that he doesn’t blast off at the end of some of the episodes…

A very ...Special... K

Must… Resist… Special K joke…

The show also had a lot of subtle humour in it, such as the large, tubby child having a workout bot with a very bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impressionistic voice as his partner, the fact that Dr K felt the need to name all his robots things that mostly shouldn’t start with a K (Katastrophe and Krab being just two of the many) and don’t let me forget about the magnet bot ‘Kan-it’ with his polar personality who always sang about “being positive”.

He might make evil robots, but he eats RIGHT.

“With this cereal, I’ll spawn a new diet craze and rule the world!” – I tried.

OK, I’ll leave the puns to Adam in the future, I promise (Though they have been known to polarise opinion- Adam). On a more serious note about Kan-it though, he was voiced by Steve Irwin. Yes, the Steve Irwin, doing an impression of a British person. They hired an Australian to do the voice of an American character and in order to achieve that he did an impression of a British person. Genius.

Cubix

Cubix pretends to be dead so they’ll ship him back to Korea

In general, the style of the show definitely hasn’t aged well over the years. You can’t easily find the episodes online – apart from the potato quality videos put up on Youtube – and the human character designs were really simple, their attitudes pretty mundane (and their eyes always crossed. This bugs me. – Adam). But I never really watched the show for the humans, I watched for the robots. And man there are a ton of them, all of them with amazing designs and colours. Heck, even Dr K’s evil army of K-bots had decent looks compared to the typical “evil mastermind with idiots on his team” cliche that normally follows a series like this!

To sum it all up, Cubix was a great series back in its day. It was grossly underestimated and, in my opinion, came out at the wrong time. When Cubix was on TV, most kids wanted to watch things like Samurai Jack or Galactic Football, there wasn’t really a place for giant robots. Transformers wasn’t on the air at a decent time (or at all, during Cubix’s first run), Medabots showed in the late evening and the Sci-fi channel showed anime 24/7 so Cubix went ignored. Not just that, but the CGI style that was used was pretty outdated for its time.

Still better than Beast Machines

Still better than Beast Machines – Solid black is cheap!

Still, it got 2 seasons (I think, it is hard to get complete clarification on that.) and a game or two so there was obviously a bit more of a demand than originally thought. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to complete my personal Cubix toy by prying off more blocks from this old Rubix cube I found in the bin outside my house. (Don’t look in the bin outside Adam’s house, it contains only discarded toy boxes and soiled copies of Your Horse magazine.)

“Videos of Muffin”

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